Sometimes people think they feel guilty, but they don’t. They just claim feeling guilty, so they can obtain sympathy from self or others, escaping the painful but grounded self-reflection on their wrong-doings.
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有的人可能会觉得我们第一时间反应说出来的话才能最真实反映我们的想法，反应时间和想法真实性成正比。但实际上，特别是敏感的人，defense mechanism比什么都快。一下子说出来的话总是词不达意，甚至口是心非。
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The fucked up thing about defense mechanisms is that we don’t even know if and when we used them. And then you struggle with confusion, is that what I truly think? Is that what I truly feel? What is my psychological reality?
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当人发现自己的存在属于社会规范外的时候，就会容易一下子抛弃所有结构和规则，进入到一个危险的混乱而鲁莽状态。这叫anomie，失范。
Chinese LGBT community, especially given the context in a tighter culture, might have lots of individuals suffering from anomie. They think they are bad, so they might abandon all rules either because they think they are already transgressing or they just resent the rules as the oppressor. But not all rules are the same, and some do protect us. Will they more likely to engage in activities that are actually harmful to themselves and others? Is there any data? Maybe it’s connected to the substance abuse issue prevalent in this population in my hometown.